1) What do you call a group of stoned cows? High steaks.

2) How do you know if someone smokes weed? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.

3) Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!

4) What do you call a stoner’s girlfriend? Mary Jane.

5) How do you make a stoner smile? Give them a joint.

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6) Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.

7) What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investi-gator.

8) What do you call a group of koalas that’s high? A eucalyptus cloud.

9) Why did the stoner cross the road? To get to the other side, man.

10) Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.